Living in the Richness of the Moment—Part 2: What’s Important? or Did Lucy Ricardo Stop to Ask?

contemplating.jpgIn the first post of this series I discussed how Coming to Your Senses is an important step in helping you spend more time in the heart-centered present. Doing so will increase the level of wellness you experience in your life and in your entrepreneurial business.

Another factor that plays a vital role in wellness levels is our ability to sort through and process the mountain of information we encounter each day while remaining sane. Listening to or reading about the million ways there are to run our businesses, write our blogs, take care of our bodies, (and even to improve our wellness levels), can be overwhelming.

While there is no magic word, like abracadabra, or quick-fix, to make all the conflicting information and opinions disappear, there is something that you already possess that will help tremendously…although it may be worn out or have been a while since you’ve used it. It’s your unique blueprint of what’s important.

Learning to focus on what’s important is what this post is all about. It’s the real secret to balancing entrepreneurial success with wellness.

What’s Important
Remember the “I Love Lucy” episode where Lucy worked in the candy factory wrapping chocolates? Remember how the conveyor belt shot so many chocolate candies out that Lucy couldn’t keep up and so she popped handfuls of them into her mouth? Can’t you just see the scene in your mind’s eye?

Well, I remind you of this image not just for a trip down memory lane but to draw a comparison to our entrepreneurial lives. With To Do lists a mile long, email messages and in-boxes filled to overflowing, we too struggle to keep up. And as we do we can lose sight of what is important. I know I’m not the only one who’s headed to the web, followed a link or two (or three) and wound up mega-minutes later somewhere I had no idea I would be, completely losing track of time and what it was I was looking for in the first place.

We all agree that it has become more critical than ever for us to be clear and focused on what is important, but how do we do that?

Intention
Well, it boils down to this: the trick is to take time each morning to set our intention for the day – to set our intention around the values we want to embody and to make it our intention to take, as one of my coaching mentors, Mike Jay, calls it, “right action” in our lives that day. This is substantially different from setting up our To Do or Action lists (even those we carefully pull together with elegant GTD techniques for those of you like me who use them.) I have a way for you to set your intention, but first a bit more about “right action.”

“Right Action”
In short, “right action” to me means operating from the inside out – putting the souls of ourselves into what we do. Setting our intention to take “right action” for the day asks us to expand our perspective about how we spend our time and what we do each day. It’s up to each of us to name our top values and determine what it is that, for each of us, constitutes “right action.”

bookends1.jpgDaily Practice
I think it’s important to start and end each day with a daily practice that helps us focus on “right action”. We can take a brief moment of time in the morning to name what’s most important for the day—not just the Doing, but more importantly, the Being that we want to embrace. Then before retiring for the night, we can check in and ask ourselves if we were able to focus on what’s important or not and what we learned. I call this practice, “Bookends.”
It takes 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes before bed, and it could well be some of the most important minutes you spend in a day. It is for me.

Try this: Bookends™ Exercise

10 Minutes Upon Awakening:
•Take a moment to sit up, stretch and greet the day. Now think about the attitude or state of Being that you intend to bring forward into your day today. Examples: Gratitude, Confidence, Self-Compassion.
•Write down that state of Being you want to focus on today.
•Now think about the area of your life and/or business that is of most importance to you right now. Of all the To Do’s that are before you today, which action is going to further your progress in that area or deepen your learning? Example: writing a business plan
•Write that action on your notepad.
•Take another moment to contemplate how you will integrate the Being and Doing focus that you have listed. Imagine that you are placing that value or state of Being right into your heart or soul and will carry it with you as you take the important action(s) you need to take today.
• Example of how this could look: Writing a business plan while Being in a state of Self-Compassion could mean I pour myself a cup of tea and sip it while I write the plan, extend self-compassion by not insisting the plan be perfect, turn off the ringer on the phone so I am not disturbed.

Reminder: It’s more important to remember you can always return to that state of Being throughout the day, than it is that you give yourself a new mandate to try and stay in that state. Being mindful that you have let your focus slip from, say Self-Compassion, you can apply the 4-step process I talk about in my book: Stop, Breathe, Notice, and Choose™ and gently bring yourself back to your desired state of Being as you Do the next important task in your day.

10 Minutes Before Bed:
•Write a few sentences about the exercise for the day, or simply review this list of 7 inquiries: Where was I able to stay in the state of Being that I selected this morning and/or return to that state when I veered off the path? What evidence shows me that I lived by my top values today? What did I do that helped me take “right action” today? What got in the way? How can I change that in the future? What will I have to say “Yes” to and what will I have to say “No” to, so that I can keep on track? What else did I learn?

•Extend gratitude to yourself for your commitment to What’s Important.

And try this: A Bigger Time Out to Regroup
Maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve taken time to clarify your values. Maybe it’s been awhile since you put together or revised your life plan, business plan, or investment strategy and tied these to your values. Maybe you want to reassess your values before doing the Bookends exercise.

Today, why not schedule an appointment with yourself very soon to at least begin? The appointment doesn’t have to be formal. It could even be an hour at a coffee shop or a few hours in the garden, where you spend time mulling over and identifying what’s important. Or it could be time with a notebook, a friend, a coach, or a colleague to sort through your values. Just be sure to make the time to stop the chocolate conveyor-belt of life for a bit and regroup.

Discipline
Creating lives that reflect our values and top priorities takes “discipline.” I’ve found that word makes some people shutter. But it’s fascinating to know that the root of the word “discipline” is “disciple.” That could be a loaded word for some of you. But I’ll take the risk and use it. Encouraging you to be a disciple of your own soul seems worth any feathers I might ruffle.

So I ask each of us to ask ourselves regularly: Am I willing to become a “disciple” of what is important to me? Sure, I can name what’s important, but am I acting on it? And, if not now, then when?

Practicing the Bookends exercise and asking myself these questions keeps me focused on what’s important and boosts my wellness levels. Give it a try. Let me know what you think.

Table of contents for Living in the Richness of the Moment

1. Living in the Richness of the Moment: Come to Your Senses

Living in the Richness of the Moment–Part 1: Come to Your Senses

rich-moment.jpgMy readers don’t realize it, but I had a self-centered motive when I wrote Seven Sacred Attitudes®. I really wrote it to remind myself that living in the richness of the moment is a life-long practice, not a one-time event. Now, those of you in this blog community, who are all busy entrepreneurs, passionate about life and want to drink in every luscious moment, have asked me to write more about this practice. So here goes.

This is the first post in a seven-part series. The series is designed to help you start living in the richness of the moment. Right now. With this breath. The focus is on learning how to spend more time on the heart-centered present, even in the midst of your busy entrepreneurial life. And the first step is to:

Come to Your Senses
Your body is talking. Are you listening? Not to your mind and all you think about your body and what you should do for it, but to your body itself? Your body has much to say. Every moment. Right now, as you read this, can you come to your senses and access your inner wisdom? What is your body saying at this moment?

Accessing the inner wisdom of your body takes practice. “Practice?” you say. “Another ‘To Do’? I don’t have time for everything on my plate as it is right now.” Well, the practice of listening to the inner wisdom of your body doesn’t require that you do anything else—no new activity to schedule in your day— but it does require that you shift your attention.

Try this: Choose one activity that you’ll be doing anyway in the next 24 hours—preferably an activity you do outdoors. Decide to place your full attention on your body during this activity. Even if you use outdoor activities or exercise time for creative thinking and problem-solving, do something different today.

Place your attention on your body’s experience of the activity. Start small. Start with 10 minutes where you will pay attention. Not to your mind where the stories live—“Oh, I wish I could get this power-walk or run over with.”—but pay attention and stay present to your body. Take your mind off of the mental “To-Do-list” chatter and come to your senses!

Your body lives in this moment. It breathes now. Notice it in action. Discover what it has to tell you about this activity on this day for these 10 minutes.

Print this list out and use it to guide you:

•Notice your breath.
•Notice the air against your neck.
•If you’re swimming, notice the water against your muscles. Notice the sensation of the water against your face.
•Focus on the muscles in your legs as you walk, jog, bike-ride or swim or even if you use a walker or wheelchair.
•Switch focus and pay attention to your arm muscles.
•If you’re at the computer, notice your shoulders, neck and brow.
•Whether indoors or out, notice the sensation of your clothing against your skin.
•Notice the rhythm of your breath.
•Pay attention to the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your nose.
•Pay attention to the sound of your breath as you jog, sit, or exhale into the water of the pool.
•Keep your focus on your body and your senses.
•Notice what your body is telling you.
•What do you learn from coming to your senses?

And try this: If you usually walk, swim or run for a certain distance or a certain time period, put away the timer, pedometer or lap-counting routine for today. Use your body as the barometer for a change. Without a watch or measuring distance, let your body tell you when it is done or tired.

If you usually sit at the computer until you have gone through all the email, written every response and use ‘being done with the task’ to dictate when you are finished, go ahead and set a timer for 10 minutes today. Stop when the alarm goes off and check in again with your breath, shoulders, head and neck. Is your body done? Is your body saying something? Is there something you have been pretending not to know?

We have been given the power to direct our attention wherever we want. Today, place it on your body.
See how it goes.
Just for today.

Let me know what you notice.

And let me know what you think, if you disagree with my thinking, or if there is anything about living in the richness of the moment you would like me to cover in this series.

Grieving Well

man-grieving.jpgIf you’ve visited my blog before, you probably notice that I’ve removed my photo from the right sidebar today. I did so because the photo I usually post there, shows me with a wide grin. But I’m not grinning at the moment, and it seemed inauthentic to show you my smiling face, when the copyright-free photo of this man in contemplation mirrors my current state more accurately than the usual photo.

As I write this post, my good friend Jane is walking through the difficult terrain of grief. Her mom died this past weekend. When I found out, I wanted to do something to make the pain go away – and then I realized that I couldn’t. At best what I could do was to tell her she will be in my thoughts and my heart and that I could take in the mail while she attends her mom’s funeral if she needs me to do that. But I couldn’t take the pain away. And I couldn’t begin to walk the path of grieving for her, much as I might have wanted to. But what I can do is write this post in memory of her mom, my dad, and all of the parents, family and friends whose deaths we have all had to grieve. I do so here because this blog is about wellness and I believe that grieving is as much a part of wellness as it is of life.

So, yes, in this wellness community we come together because we are entrepreneurs. But we are human beings first. And in our humanity, we grieve. And in our grief, we are connected to all those who have grieved before us and to all those who will grieve after us. Whether we grieve the loss of a parent or child, the loss of a colleague or friend, or the loss of a pet, we all grieve. Whether we separate from those we love because of death, a move, or a divorce, we all grieve. We grieve when we lose a business deal, a home swallowed by fire or flood, a job, a friend’s child in war, or twin towers that stood against our skyline.

I do not have answers today. I have nothing brilliant to post. I simply have my heart as I find myself filled with questions and wondering, What is it to grieve well? I suppose we each need to define this for ourselves.

We each need to define this and to find our own way of grieving, even if we can rattle off the “Five Stages of Grief” that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote about in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying“. We need to traverse the territory of grief our way, because our Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance are unique to us and our way is the only way we will make meaning of our grief.

If you are grieving at this time, my wish for you is that you:

– take gentle care of yourself

– rest, eat well, and rest some more

– surround yourself with comfort that nourishes you, body and soul

– breathe deeply

– bundle up and go for a walk through a park

– give yourself the gift of the full range of your emotions

– surround yourself with those whose support is soothing right now

– give yourself all the time you need

– breathe deeply again

– be willing to reach out or to retreat

– listen to your soul tell you what it needs

– laugh if it feels right, or scream if it feels better

– eat fresh veggies, warm soup (chicken or otherwise), soft foods, crunchy foods, fruits and fruit compotes, and foods that support your immune system rather than challenge it

– drink lots of water and soothing herbal teas

– read yourself a good bedtime story

– throw lemons on the sidewalk

– take baths if the spirit moves you

– hug a child, a pet, a tree, a friend

– let yourself be hugged by those you love

– hug your own self

Be well.
Erica

P.S. And if you are up for reading at this time, and you would like a copy of Seven Sacred Attitudes, send me an email and I will be glad to autograph a copy for you.

Wellness Coach Tips for Energy & Stresss Management

woman-outstrtchd-arms.jpgEntrepreneurs know a thing or two about stress. In fact, most of us accept the fact that managing stress and our energy is a regular part of living. We manage a gazillion facets of our own businesses, juggle schedules, and do our best to keep our stress levels down and our energy levels up. Without realizing it, you have probably put together your own tool kit to help manage your energy levels throughout the day. Browse through this list and see if there are a few more tools for you to add to your kit:

– Learn to calm your mind and body through meditation.
– Eat your meals in a relaxed environment.
– Take frequent breaks for stretching and walking throughout the day.
Eliminate refined carbohydrates from your diet.
– Eliminate or restrict your intake of caffeine and alcohol.
– Eat smaller meals and healthy snacks throughout the day.
– Support your adrenal glands with vitamin C, Pantothenic acid (vitamin B5), vitamin B6, zinc and magnesium – do so with the addition of broccoli, whole grains, salmon, sweet potatoes and legumes to your diet, or see a nutritionist for the supplement levels that will serve you best.
– Consider adding a high quality ginseng supplement to your regime, either Chinese or Siberian, to support your adrenal function and help your body’s resistance to stress. One valid approach is to take ginseng in a cycle of 2-3 weeks on and 2 weeks off, to give the adrenal glands a rest from the ginseng. Educational literature tells us to be alert for signs of possible ginseng toxicity, including nervousness, restlessness, and insomnia. Each person responds to ginseng in a unique way so starting with a low dose is the rule of thumb listed in most supplement manuals. As always, consult a health practitioner for the appropriate levels for you.
– Decrease stress and increase energy by learning to breathe with the diaphragm. Take breaks throughout the day and do so purposefully. Sit comfortably, both feet flat on the ground, eyes gently closed. Inhaling though the nose and exhaling through the mouth, place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. Pay attention to the breath and focus on the hand on your belly. Inhale for a count of 4 or 5, filling the belly and expanding it so your hand rises about an inch. Pause for a count of 1 or 2. Exhale to a count of 4 or 5. Keep focused on the breath and repeat the process. Do so until you have reached a level of both relaxation and refreshment. Aim for 5-20 minutes a few times a day.
– Go for a brisk walk – with or without your ipod or mp3 player.
– Organize your office and life with the zen-like wisdom and help of David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done.

For more tips, you can also check out the article, “Your Guide to Never Feeling Tired Again” posted today on the WebMD site. Author Nancy Rones gives you 22 more ideas for enhancing your energy.

Post a comment and let us know what you do throughout your entrepreneurial day to stay energized and stress-free.

Entrepreneurial Time Out

time-out.jpgToday, I came across a little video on the internet that packs a big punch. It’s called the 5.75 Questions you’ve Been Avoiding and it’s by Michael Bungay Stainer. What I loved was the time-out it gave me to stop and consider some thought-provoking questions that were big and delicious. (There’s a jaunty jazz track in the background too.) Take a break yourself right now, put your feet up and check it out. Write the questions down and spend some time thinking about them this week. To Michael’s list, add the following:

1. What is already in place that supports me in my entrepreneurial wellness?

2. When it comes to my overall wellness, what am I pretending not to know?

3. What (and who) makes my heart sing that I have forgotten about lately?

4. When it comes to my wellness, when would NOW be a good time to make some changes?

And send a post to let us know some other questions you are inspired to add…

Balance: The Entrepreneur’s Key to Wellness

istock_000003796974xsmall.jpgBalance. The illusion is that it is a static state. Nothing could be further from reality. Try this: stand on one foot, lifting the other from the floor a few inches. Stand like this for 1 full minute. Simply notice what is happening in the ankle of the foot you are standing on. No doubt, you can feel small, almost undetectable movements going on in your ankle. Your body is course-correcting — shifting subtly so you remain upright. This is how your body naturally achieves balance. It’s those tiny shifts that do the job. So my question for you to consider today is this: where do you need to make small shifts in your business and life to bring about even higher levels of wellness?

Once upon a time, my own business and life were so greatly out of balance that small shifts did not do the trick. A car accident and health challenge were the wake-up calls to do some major course-correction. But there were clues way before that. I just wasn’t listening. Now, I look for clues every day. You can, too. But first, define wellness for yourself. No doubt some clues to balance will be right there.

Does wellness for you include time outdoors everyday? Does it include a healthy financial bottom-line in the business? Does it include a weekly lunch meeting out of the home office? Does wellness for you include 6, 7, 8 or 9 hours sleep each night? And how do you judge whether you are in balance?

In the stand-on-one-foot example , balance was determined by this criteria: were you able to stand on one foot for 1 minute? How will you determine if your entrepreneurial life is in balance? How will you define wellness? I encourage you to do more than think about this.

Take some time out, eyes closed, and begin to imagine the experience of balance. Get a strong sense of how balances feels in your body by actually shifting yourself into your perception of a balanced state — perhaps a state where you are relaxed, yet quite alert. Notice your breath. Notice your posture. Notice your heartbeat and yet at the same time, notice the air temperature. Just notice. Take a few deep breaths and spend some time writing about balance. But write about the feeling, rather than what you would be doing if your business and life were in balance.

I emphasize the feeling of balance because it can be home base for you. A place where you return regularly. At any point in time, you may be course correcting back to this place of balance. In this way, you will come to appreciate subtle shifts — to your nutrition, to your activity level, to your busy-ness factor — as the powerful tools they are. Subtle shifts on a continued basis keep us in balance.

I described my own return to balance in a recent interview with Monica Flores, owner of SistersInBiz.com In the interview, I mentioned that role models, mentors, and a coach all play vital roles in helping me live a balanced entrepreneurial life. Find the role models, mentors and coaches that will help you do the same. They can help give you perspective, advice, input, and feedback to help you make those subtle shifts that will keep you returning to your “home base” of balance.

What helps you live a balanced entrepreneurial life? Let us know.

8 Tips for Wellness

Luke Houghton’s  post today in his Business Thinking Blog, is called “8 Things I have Learned About Success.” What I loved about reading it, is that every single one of the items on the list also pertains to Wellness.

I’m particularly fond of tip # 7: “Be patient and take small steps daily.” Yes it’s true for success, but there  is also no better advice to be given when it comes to your wellness program. As entrpreneurs, the statistics tell us that we have a propensity for liking to do things in a big way — for tackling big projects all at once. Sometimes, (most times), when it comes to wellness, tackling things all at once (be it weight loss, a new meditation program, a new fitness routine), we are better off if we “be patient and take small steps daily.” Many thanks to the Business Thinking Blog for the reminder.

The Habit of Giving

istock_000003871437xsmall.jpgThank you to Robert Middleton of More Clients Blog for his inspiring post yesterday, “The Laws of Giving.” Robert’s reminders that giving be at the heart of our entrepreneurial lives was most refreshing. I stopped by and posted a note of thanks. You might want to do the same, and find one other opportunity to give today also.

There’s just something magical that happens when we give…I call it wellness.

Wellness Recipe: Try Something New

p-compass-sm.jpgYou had the courage to start your own business. You took a risk, you ventured out. But I’ll bet, if you’re like most of us, when it comes to the nutrition arena, you haven’t gone on any new adventures lately. This week, I invite you to break out of your usual nutrition routine and try something new and different. Being mindful of any dietary constraints and medical supervision, expand your nutritional repertoire.

If you have little time, try one of these options:

– a small handful of raw almonds and a few fresh figs
– an Organic Food Bar (try Organic Greens flavor; at health food stores)
goat cheese on a slice of Ezekiel bread
– organic turkey jerky and a piece of fresh fruit
– a small glass of multi-veggie juice (Knudsen’s Very Veggie is great!)
Nut Thins® crackers spread with hummus or almond butter
leftover veggies sprinkled with olive oil and a splash of vinegar – makes a great, quick cold salad.

If you have more time, try:

Quinoa (pronounced Keen-wah); this high protein grain has a nutty flavor and also absorbs the flavors that are used along with it. Prepare as you do rice with 2:1 ratio (liquid:grain); use vegetable broth or organic chicken broth for half of the liquid. Serve as a side dish or toss in shredded chicken, peas, onions, and/or chopped tomatoes for a hearty meal.

Broccoli Soup: steam 2 cups of fresh or frozen organic broccoli. Place the hot broccoli into a blender. Add a Tablespoon of olive oil or butter, ½ cup almond or rice milk, a splash of chicken stock or vegetable broth and blend on high. Stop when the mixture reaches the desired consistency. More time for thinner soup, less time for thicker soup.

Arugula and Asian Pear Salad; (arugula will be near the lettuces in your health food store; tender green leaves are somewhat like an oak leaf in shape; flavor is both spicy and nutty. Asian pears are a poplar fall fruit; crisp and juicy and often referred to as “apple pears.”) To make the salad: Slice Asian Pears and place over arugula; toss with grapefruit or lemon juice and a splash of olive oil; garnish with some montrachet goat cheese.

Need a time out? Try this:
Take a refreshing break in your entrepreneurial day. Take a half-hour mid-afternoon visit to the produce section of your local Whole Foods Market or other health food store. Your “something new” this week will be simply to go to the store without a shopping list and without buying anything. Your “something new” will be to go with the intention of simply visiting the produce section and browsing around with new and curious eyes.

When you arrive, notice something you haven’t noticed before – perhaps the way the fruit is stacked, the way the greens are watered every so often, or the way the potatoes are kept in bins away from the light (or if they are not.)

Wander over to the celery; inhale the fragrance of a stalk of a celery – did you even know it has one? Then look around and find a fruit or vegetable that is unfamiliar to you. Pick it up in your hand. Notice its texture, size, shape, and smell. Read anything posted about it such as nutritional value or ways to prepare it – or ask the produce person more about it. Do so simply for the sake of curiosity. Next, ask for a sample slice of a fruit you haven’t tried before. Taste it. Simply notice the way the fruit tastes.

Take a final look around, inhaling the smells, sights and the produce that is there for you when you want it. Give silent gratitude for this place and head back to work refreshed. I do this on occasion to remind myself to slow down and remember just how lucky I am to live amid plenty.

Taming Stress from the Inside Out

tyg_new_book_shadow1.jpgOne of the greatest wellness tools I’ve ever discovered and used came in the form of a small book with a huge message: Taming Your Gremlin®. My love of the book lead me to study for a year with the book’s author, and master Gremlin Tamer, Rick Carson. To this day, Rick’s Gremlin-Taming® wisdom helps me bring about wellness in my daily and entrepreneurial life. His on-going coaching is a vital part of my business life and personal wellness program.

If I’m deep into a complaint of a stressful situation, one of the skills Rick reminds me to use is the powerful technique of “Simply Noticing.” In order for me to see that I am the one causing my own stress (because then I can choose whether to continue or not), Rick has me actively look at how I stress myself.

This activity is much more than a mental exercise — my whole body/mind/spirit gets involved. I jump in and answer a series of inquires to help me do so. I’ve now learned to do this for myself. When I use Rick’s technique, I take a thorough inventory of exactly how I’m stressing myself. (It is, after all, my unique way of creating stress for myself — so who better than me to explore my own self-stressing techniques?)

As if I were teaching someone how I “do” stress, I answer:

  • What thoughts am I harping on? (Am I making myself look at all the worst-case scenarios? Regretting something? Worrying?)
  • What am I physically doing with my shoulders? (And my neck? Head? Eyes? Arms? Legs? Am I tensing? Staring? Squinting? Wrinkling my brow?)
  • What’s the quality of my breathing? (Am I breathing? Is my breath shallow, rapid?)
  • What else am I doing? (Screaming? Crying? Pouting? Grinding my teeth?
  • How else am I making myself miserable?

Then a remarkable thing happens – I begin to see my role in my own stress. Sometimes, I even burst out laughing. Inevitably, I catch myself putting myself in my own “stress” zone and making myself feel awful – which reminds me once again that, I have choice. Which leads me to remember that, as Rick says, “Feeling Good is primarily an inside job.”

How do you stress yourself? Give us lessons in how you personally go about it! Read Rick’s book, apply some of the Gremlin-Taming wisdom in your own life and keep us posted!